So I'm having surgery next week. I will be nervous. I will worry. But it is the next step in diagnosing why I'm not getting pregnant so it is unfortunately "necessary."
Was it unfair of me to hope that my husband would want to be there when I went under and be there when I woke up? Should I really have to tell him that this is what I want?
In general, I have become an advocate of just telling him what my expectations are for things, whether it is my birthday, our anniversary, or how I would hope that a weekend focused on just the two of us would be exactly that. Friends of mine have convinced me that otherwise I am setting Tom up for failure and me up for disappointment. But somehow I thought this would be different.
1) This is a test to see if anything is wrong physically and if that is the reason that we aren't getting pregnant. Pregnancy affects both of us and we both hope to find out that there is something that can be fixed.
2) This isn't a blood test or a sperm sample, or even an xray. I'm being put under general anesthesia and they are going to put a camera inside of me and look around. Things can actually go wrong, really wrong.
Yes, I want him there. But I had actually hoped that he would want to be there and not just be there because I wanted him to be there. Is that unfair?
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Not unfair. I find it difficult to envision a valid reason why I wouldn't ever be at the side of any of my family if they went through something. It wasn't even a question when I told -- not asked -- work to be off for my son's surgery or my wife's various operations. It just wasn't even a question in my mind, I guess, so I can't really fathom one where it is.
I "get" the other incidences, where expectations might not always align and you have to actively negotiate to get the other to do X or Y, but...c'mon. This is pretty basic. Is he going to skip a birth, too? :P~
Good luck, by the way. I hope everything is *completely boring* (EG: routine as hell) and you get some answers.
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